Her-Desk Blog

To those who are down, helpless, disappointed, and in pain... Here's an inspiring message from Pravs World.

Whether you are young or old, novice or pro in the subject called RELATIONSHIP, I think, we always have lessons to be learned in every relationship that we are into. I found this very inspiring thoughts from Erika, on what she learned from her past relationship.

1. Never rearrange your life for somebody you are in a relationship with. If you were planning to live abroad, do it. If you wanted to go back to school, then study. Don't move to a different country for a girl/guy unless you have concrete plans to get married, otherwise, you might end up not knowing what you want anymore when the relationship doesn't work out.

2. Don't just fall into a relationship. Be conscious of every decision you make with the other person, and what you are getting yourself into. If early in the relationship you realize that this guy doesn't possess certain qualities that are important to you, or even worse, has qualities that are dealbreakers for you, end it as soon as possible. Obvious examples can be cheating. lying, disrespect, not so obvious is fear of commitment. Since you don't really talk about it until later on, you don't find out until later on-when you are madly in love and try not to care. But there are signs. Ask about former relationships and stuff like that. You'll get an idea of where his head is at.

3. Trying your best doesn't guarantee that the outcome will be favorable. Some things are beyond your control. You can't control how another person will react or feel about a situation, and you also can't make another person apologize for being the way he/she is. Sometimes people just don't fit, no matter how hard they try. It could be because they are in different stages in life, and they can check back later on-although I wouldn't count on it, or just because they are so fundamentally different, they can't find common ground.

4. Don't be jaded if a relationship doesn't work out. There are billions of people on earth. So one hurt you, and you hurt another. It's not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean everyone will, even if it sure feels like it for a few months after.

5. Don't get into a relationship if you are not ready. Just because he/she is cute, nice, respectful and has a million qualities you like, if you aren't ready, then what can you possibly have to offer? Even after you have had time to heal from the last, you need time to be on your own too.

6. When you choose to love, do it 100%. It's the only way to go. Be smart but don't overthink. Just enjoy the ride.

7. Forgive but don't forget the lessons you learned. After going through heartbreak, we discover this renewed strength, this passion for life we forgot about and find our way back to our original path, and then you meet someone new, and there all that goes!

8. You can use your head without compromising what you feel, and you can use your heart without losing your head.

9. If you really love somebody, you want them to be happy and live their dreams, even if they don't necessarily involve you.

10. Give yourself a break. Stop thinking it's all your fault if it didn't work out. Give yourself time to mourn and grieve. Be with friends who don't mind hearing your thoughts over and over. Don't stop until you find that love inside yourself again. We'll always be ok.

Anything you wanted to add and share it with other girls?? Just feel free to leave a comment.

Here's the top 5 reasons why men cheat according to iVillage's survey:

1. SEX - Men are just uncontrollable, their eyes, hands, and you know...

2. It's easier than fixing the relationship - Men are lazy to solve and discuss problems with their partners, and though it will also take efforts sneaking, but, it's a lot easier to do.

3. To Feed Their Male Egos - Appreciation from opposite sex feeds their manly egos

4. To Fill A Void - Because they are unsatisfied with their current relationship, they cheat.

5. They're Selfish - They just don't value and respect their partners..

And According to Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., the 6 key reasons why men cheat are the following:

1. Emotional emptiness.
2. General dissatisfaction with the relationship.
3. To avoid facing existing relationship problems.
4. Fear of intimacy and commitment.
5. To be seen and heard.
6. Lack of physical attraction to partner.

And for women to keep their men, here are his suggestions:

1. Up the TLC: Comfort, touch, and compliment your spouse, so that he won't look elsewhere for soothing and bonding.

2. Give him space: Men need scheduled time to disconnect from the relationship, says Dr. Weil. That may mean an hour alone in front of the computer, a golf outing, or simply time together without conversation. Give him space to do this so that he's ready to be there for you when you want his attention.

3. Connect: Daily mini-connections, such as a kiss good-bye in the morning and a post-work greeting, are vitally important, according to Dr. Weil. Other simple events that bring you together - a nice meal or after-dinner walk -- will also allow you to reconnect on a regular basis.

4. Restore the magic: Playing and having fun together will help maintain or restore the sizzle in your relationship. That may mean playing fun games, trying new activities or taking a class together, or simply vowing to spend an entire day thinking only positive thoughts about each other (no complaining allowed).

5. Express yourselves: Help him to get in touch with his feelings, and make it safe for him to tell you how he really feels. For example, when you ask him a question such as, "Do you mind watching the kids today?" suggest that he visualize how he'll feel after you leave. Also, help him to get in touch with your emotions. But start small - discuss minor topics together before tackling major issues. If you overwhelm him with your feelings, his resulting physiological discomfort will cause him to retreat.

And if all his suggestions fail, leave him, for christ sake!

So, what do they have in common? They are both "famous" since they are celebrities, and they are young and pregnant. Jamie is still 16 years old, while Jennylyn is 18. I hope they will get the support they needed especially from family and friends, and of course from the daddy of their babies.

Now, I really do agree that women's minds are as changeable as the weather. Take for example my choice of template for this site. I just updated this last month, and here I am again, changing it and I hope that this will be the last, or atleast, it will take couple of months before it will be updated again. Well, let's see. But, as I am seeing the template now, I am pretty much happy by the look at it though there are still some tweakings needed. :)